Alone

I always feel it.
Alone.
Even though I'm not.
I have him, and I love him.

Yet I'm still alone in my head.
I turn inside myself and won't let anyone in.
When I do this, I'm all alone.

I wish I could stop.
I just get so anxious.
Its almost as if I don't WANT the help.
But I need it.

Why can't it just get better?

Why Don't You Care?

How can you sit there and watch your only child exist like this?
How can you sit there and yell at me when I'm trying to rely on you for support?
How can you sit there knowing that I cry every single night and not do anything about it?
How?

How can you be ok with your only child being depressed and anxious?
How can you be ok with that?

It isn't ok.
It isn't even close.

When I sit and cry for half an hour and you can't even get up the nerve to give me a hug.
How am I supposed to believe you when you say you care?

All of these things prove to me that you don't care.
Why don't you care anymore?
Why don't you care?

Help.

Please help.
Help to make it end.
Help to make it better.

I need help.
Help that will last.
I need to figure out what is wrong.
It needs to get fixed.

I don't need a pill.
I don't need a pep talk.
Those are temporary fixes.

I need something to truly make it better.

To help me feel normal again.
To help me be myself again.

I need help.